Happiness Forever- Now why wouldn't I want that?

Do you know what I love even more than being married to my husband? I love that Adam and I were married in a temple, because that means that we are sealed for time and all eternity! This last weekend I had the great opportunity to listen to the General Relief Society Broadcast; and while listening to the many great talks about the importance of going to the temple I was overwhelmed with gratitude because I have felt just a small portion of the blessings that can be recieved in the temple already in my life; one of which is being sealed to my husband and future children. 

So for those who don't understand what a temple marriage means I will tell you, in my own humble way.

4 Reasons I am grateful I was married in the temple:

1)      Adam and I were married in the Seattle, WA temple.

     If you are ever are driving along 1-90 heading past Bellevue just after you reach exit 11 you will see the tall and pure white temple steeples of the temple peaking over the trees on top of the hill, and you will see the glorious angel Moroni trumpeting his horn- really it is quite the sight to see and will absolutely take your breath away. Why is that temple important to me? Well, as I have already mentioned it is an unquestionably stunning temple, and let’s be honest—what girl doesn’t want to be married in a beautiful castle-like building? The Seattle temple is the one that I grew up with; as a child my parents would take us for walks around the temple and through the gardens whenever we were in the area, I remember waiting in the waiting room there while my Aunt Paige and Uncle Steven were getting married. It was the first temple I did baptisms for the dead, it’s where I received my endowments and most importantly it’s where my parents were married and sealed to their family back in June of 1990.

2)      The temple is the house of the Lord. (For a more in depth read you can visit this site: https://www.lds.org/church/temples/why-we-build-temples?lang=eng ; but I will try to do it justice in my quick sum up.) In ancient times as well as in the modern day, people have built temples, to follow a commandment from God and as a way to commune with God. “Temples are the most sacred place on earth—a place where earth and heaven meet and where we feel close to our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.” A temple is literally a house of the Lord, a holy place of group and individual worship and a place where we can covenant (promise) with the Lord.

(Nauvoo, IL Temple)

Being a religious person, I want my Father in Heaven with me every step of the way. Adam and I have made it a point in our lives to include him in everything we do. We prayed if we should date, we prayed and fasted to know if it was the right thing for us to get married, we prayed to know where we should get married and when. And because he was there aiding us in every step we took we wanted to include him in our marriage ceremony; and there is no better place to do that than in his own home under his authority.

3)      When you marry in the temple you make special and sacred covenants with the Lord. Although I am not supposed to go into detail or really talk about some of those I can tell you about one blessing I have receive in particular, because of the promises we have made with our Father in Heaven.

Being married in the temple links us even closer to God and because of that he blesses us with the Holy Ghost, a constant companion to lead and protect us through life. Since being married I have felt the influence of the Holy Ghost in our lives so much more. My husband, almost weekly, tells me stories about how he was doing something and got an impression. Just the other day he was telling me that he was riding his bike past an old pawnshop and he was curious what was inside. Before entering he was impressed with a feeling that he should not enter the building, so he jumped back on his bike and came home to me. I don’t know what might have happened had he gone inside, but the spirit knew that there was something that would hurt Adam—either mentally, spiritually or physically, and shielded him from that. Through experiences with the Holy Ghost I have felt my Saviors and my God’s great love for me and through that love he has protected my little family time and time again just as he will keep on doing throughout the remainder of my life.

4)      Being married in the temple means that we are sealed with our spouse for (this is my favorite part!) TIME AND ALL ETERNITY!!!!!

Whenever I watch a movie, or read a book about a cute cute couple who is being married I find myself getting wrapped up in all the wedding details and cuteness as if I were actually there. I laugh, I get excited and yes I even cry. But I find that every time I hear or read when the preacher says “Till death do you part” I am saddened. I have found the love of my life, the man who I want to be with is “till death do you part” good enough for me? OF COURSE NOT!!!!! And I don’t really think its good enough for anyone; I’ll tell you why.

            Reason 1: Life is short. That’s not long enough for me to be with Adam. I want more than that. I want to spend all of eternity laughing with him, making memories, making mistakes and fixing them. Furthermore I want an eternity with my children, to raise them, watch them mature and grow, and make memories with them. A lifetime isn’t enough time to have all the fun that there is to be had, to say I love you enough times to show my husband how much I really do mean it, to do the silly little things that make him smile and to be happy with him. “Till death do you part” is in all honesty not a long enough time to be with the one’s you love.

            Reason 2: Forever= Work! Whenever I know that something isn’t going to last very long, I don’t try as hard to enjoy it or to make it last. But when I have something for a really long time I want to do my very best to make the most of it and keep it as perfect as I can. Adam and I are not perfect, as much as I like to think we are. We have our problems and we occasionally disagree. For instance this morning I was listening to Christmas music—because I am one of those crazy fanatics that could listen to it all year round. Well I have been playing my music for the last week or so without thinking or considering if Adam want’s to listen to it. Finally while we were getting ready for school and my music was going he casually mentioned that he is kind of getting tired of the music and would like some more variety (meaning he would like it if I put away the Christmas music for a while longer, at least until we are in the actual season of Christmas). My first instinct was to say, fine then you can go into the other room and listen to your music (or something to that effect); but then I remembered that this marriage isn’t all about me and that if I want to keep what we have going for eternity I need to be considerate of his feelings.

You see being married requires sacrifices and working to continually show your love to your spouse. If I wasn’t going to be married to Adam for very long, then I wouldn’t sacrifice all that much, and I wouldn’t go out of my way to tell him 100 times a day that I love him and make him feel special. But because I am married to Adam for eternity I do want to make those sacrifices, and I do want to show him I love him. I enjoy surprising him with lego sets and history books, making his favorite dinners, holding his hand, telling him just how dang good looking he is; additionally I love to find greater ways to express my love and gratitude for him as well as making him happy. And just to add to everything because I am willing to do all of that he is willing to do the same for me! He cleans the house, makes the bed, brushes my hair at night (because he knows I just love it sooooooo much when he does that!), he tells me how beautiful I am and how much he loves my cooking, he supports me and encourages me to follow my dreams, he does DIY projects with me, watches I Love Lucy with me and so so so much more. It is through the work that we put into our relationship that solidifies what we have and makes it even more enticing to want to spend the rest of forever with each other.

Words can hardly describe the gratitude that I feel for being married in the temple. But I can say this—I have a testimony that the blessings of being married in the temple are real; and I am incredibly grateful that because of my Father in Heaven I get to be happy forever. I love that I was married in the temple to my eternal sweetheart, my life is being continually blessed because of it, and I know that I have just started to partake of those blessings. 

Baby's Nursery Decorations

     So I am about 21 weeks pregnant so as you might imagine my brain is going crazy with decoration ideas for our cute baby's nusery. However.... We can't exactly start decorating or getting too excited about any ideas just yet because we still don't know the gender. Well, we were ooooober blessed in that Adam was able to find a job for four days this week; which means because we have one car I am stuck at home alone for four days. So I thought I would take advantage of these four days by painting a replica of a canvas picture I saw at Target (and absolutely fell in love with). I figured this would take me a few days and it would be fun! WRONG!!!! Oh how wrong I was I finished it in 4 hours, and the only reason it took me that long was because I had to wait for paint to dry in between painting sections. I am super  happy with how it turned out! And best part these colors work for both boy AND girl!!!!

(Kitchen bowels are the best for tracing circle's!)

(I am proud to say that I did all the lettering free hand! Not too bad if I say so myself)

(.... excuse the typo (that's not actually on the canvas) You can buy the canvas at Target for $30 (http://www.target.com/p/oopsy-daisy-too-rise-shine-canvas-wall-art/-/A-14632001) or go cheap like me and buy a $8 canvas at Walmart. And I was able to do a darker blue which I like much better!)

...... Now I guess I have to wait to find out the gender before I do anymore decorating.....

Look Out World! Because our lives are about to change.

May 17, 2014 This is the day that changed Adam's and my lives forever. But lets back up a little. The last week of April/ the first week of May I got this nasty cold. I was throwing up, couldn’t hardly stand up let alone hold my head up, and I just had no energy for 3 days. But the rest of the cold symptoms—headaches, achy, tired, thirsty, no energy, coughing, runny noses, ear aches, etc. continued for another 2 weeks; so if your mind isn’t already wondering to that one place then let me tell you mine sure was. So back to May 17^th,  I had just spent the night home alone (soup, ice cream, chick flicks, in bed, under blankets and both the front door bedroom doors locked), while Adam was at the Ensign Ranch on a campout. I wasn't really excited about being home alone and I made sure he knew it by texting him every 30 minutes (shamefully I have to admit this is true), but this was the perfect time to put my suspicions to rest. So 7 am rolls around and I timidly went into the bathroom to take test- and I think you all know which one I am referring to....

Two hours later I took another test just to be sure, and sure enough it came back positive. So like any reasonable girl I immediately got onto Pinterest to search creative ways to tell my husband the AMAZING, WONDERFUL, EXCITING news! I couldn’t really find anything in particular that I thought was just perfect for the two of us, so I came up with something of my own.

When Adam came home I handed him an envelope. {I figured that since we spent a little over five years communicating through text and a two and a half years communicating over letters now was the perfect time to write him another letter.} When he opened the letter this is what he found—

{We don't actually know the due date yet, I
calculated this date off the internet. So who
knows how accurate it could be.}

At first he didn’t quite know what to say, I don’t think he really understood what it meant. But after about 30/45 seconds a giant grin overcame his face and he was ESTATIC! 

We wanted to keep everything a secret for a while, but plans changed after the morning sickness came, and boy do I have it bad! Two weeks later it was getting a little hard to hide {you know when you feel TERRIBLE and there is absolutely NO way of hiding it? Yea, imagine being like that for 2+ weeks around your mother….} So Adam and I ordered these cute little frames from Amazon and printed out an announcement.

Sunday June 1^st, we went over to my parents’ house for a barbeque. I was in the kitchen with my mom preparing food, and Adam and my dad were standing in the doorway talking. Then Adam said “oh wait, I forgot. We have something for you Harold and Julie.” He grabbed a box out of my purse and handed it to them, they looked pretty confused. But as soon as they opened it up my mom knew exactly what it was. There was much hugging and laughing, maybe a few tears and quite possibly a few shrills and squeals! Adam really couldn’t wait much longer so he called his parents and spilled to beans, and the squeals and excitement continued. {Unfortunately because I so obviously have phobia of post offices, we have yet to mail their package….. this week, this week for sure!}

{we thought these were seriously the cutest frames!!!}

We go in this Thursday {June 19^th} for our first appointment {EEEEEEEEEEEE I seriously am working hard to contain the excitement!!!!}. Right now we are unsure as to how far along I am I could be anywhere from 6-9 weeks, so hopefully the doctor can help us pin point a more exact week and give us a more accurate due date. But as for now, we are just excited to be starting this adventure of soon to be parents!

And just for kicks and giggles {I know.... way to early to be thinking about this but I'm a girl, I cant help it!}

 .........................

To answer a few questions that we have gotten so far:

• Are we excited? And was this planned? Yes we did plan this, and both Adam and I really couldnt be more happier. We have spent a lot of time praying and talking about when we should start our family. We have taken into consideration that we are young and very much poor and will soon be heading back to college but right now just feels like the perfect time for us to be starting our family.

• Are we still planning on moving back to Rexburg at the end of August? Yes we are. We are all set to move back the last week of August. We found an apartment that has two rooms, a washer and dryer, close to campus and LOTS of storage that we think will work perfectly. Adam and I have both signed up for classes (I will be taking an extremely light course load in the fall) and we are still working out the rest after that.

• Have we chosen names, or started to think of names? Oh my golly gee yes! Like any girl, I have had my dream names chosen since I was 8 years old. Adam has come up with quite a few that he really likes, and with some talking I have convinced him to like the names I have chosen more than the names he has chosen. But we are not revealing any of the names at this point, because even though I have chosen the names I like I believe you should meet your child first before you name them.

• How is the morning sickness? Basically I just feel sick and tired, and sore all the time. I really dont have any energy anymore {those who are wondering, Im going to give up Zumba and Refit till after the baby, my body just cant do it these days}. Thankfully I have gotten sick or had to spend my mornings next to the toilet. And double thankfully I have Adam who is so willing to drop whatever he is doing {including if he is at work} to come take care of me. 

• Do you have any weird cravings? Bagles. Lots and lots of bagels. And i mean the really not healthy, plain white bagels, toasted and with butter. I eat at least one bagel a day. I also crave orange juice, peaches {which is weird because i hate peaches, even when I eat them I still hate them}, and fruit gushers {but I refuse, absolutely refuse to give into this craving because I believe they are a waist of money and there is absolutely nothing good in them for me}.

So with that I will end this blog post with a song that I absolutely love!.... and now it finally applies!

I am loved!!!!!

A friend once told me that life actually doesn’t begin until you get married, and I think I am starting to figure out what she meant by that. Since I have been married I have finally started to figure out my personality and who I really am. Not that I didn’t know who I was but I am starting to REALLY see it now, if you know what I mean.

·         I have realized that I am a controller- not in the bad sense, I just like to have control over every situation, I have seen that so much since being married in that sometimes you can’t control what is happening to you, that I can’t always control my husband.

·         I really need sleep. I need to make sure I eat and don’t skip meals and I really need to make sure I drink water. All stuff I have already known but I didn’t know just HOW MUCH it affects my emotions and hormones!

·         I have realized that I need my Father in Heaven and I quite simply can’t afford to not let him into my life.

So sure maybe these three things are all little in the grand scheme of things (well minus the last bullet point), and I kind of already knew all of this. But since I married Adam I have had my eyes opened to just how important it is to take care of myself and not be so focused on taking care of others.

I wanted to share a little story today that really has touched me.

I really do love being married, and I don’t think a day goes by that I don’t say that at least a dozen times. But I don’t adjust so well to change, and let’s face it change and adjusting is a big big BIG part of being married. In the past couple of weeks Adam and I have had some minor things happen to us that were not what I planned on or even hopped for. Everything that has happened has been very small and rather insignificant but as we all know you add up a few insignificant and minor problems and they all make one rather large problem (I warn you I might sound a little vague, but it’s just because I don’t want to go into too much personal detail and I really don’t want to sound like I’m dumping my problems).

In the past couple of days I have complained to Adam countless times about how tired I am of dealing with problems and how I just want things to be easy for a while (I really hope I am not the only wife to have ever had this conversation with her husband). And like a wonderful husband he is so laid back and so easy going and has a huge amount of faith that everything will turn out in the end. Maybe this is God’s way of teaching me to have patience and put a little faith in him…. But to be honest that has never been something I have been strong in.

Last night as we were lying in bed and I was complaining about my phone (I tried to use the GPS and it said I was in Tokyo when I was really on the Snoqualmie Ridge and it has been totally acting up), and just how I was tired of dealing with one thing after another. He laid there and listened to me just dumping everything on him. Then he said something that he has said maybe half a million times but for some reason I actually listened last night. He told me that life wasn’t meant to be easy or all fun and games but what helps him endure all of the heartaches and trials is to find just one good thing out of each day and focus on it. He told me many days it is how grateful he is to be married to me and other days it is that he is simply just happy it isn’t raining (Adam is a landscaper for the summer and living in the rainy northwest he often has to work in the rain).

I went to bed thinking about what he said and how I would really like to have good days more often. But then I woke up on the definite wrong side of the bed. Ever have those mornings? Because I totally do, and I totally did this morning. I didn’t want to get up so I stayed in bed 43 MINUTES after my alarm went off! Yea totally never do that. Then while doing my makeup and hair I had this I really don’t care what I look like today attitude and I started mentally listing every reason why today was going to be a horrible day and why I should just go back to bed. Whew I was sure not in a good mood.

                But then I remembered what Adam said and I thought to myself, “This is stupid, don’t wait for a good day just go have one!” So I tried to think of just one thing I could be grateful for and just the least bit excited about…. Nothing. I literally couldn’t think of one thing to be happy about. So I thought- go skim through Facebook, there has to be one person who has exciting news I can be excited for them about…. Again NOTHING! (EEEEEEEKKKKKKK this makes me sounds like a terrible friend….).

 I really was seriously about to climb back under my covers but then I thought to go check my BYUI email; which at first I thought was silly because I’m off track so I really don’t get anything except for the school’s weekly emails. But nonetheless I still checked it. Typically when I do check it, it is to clear out the dozen or so emails that don’t really apply to me, this time there was just one email from the school, it was to inform me that there was a change to my financial aid. I thought this was a little weird because I don’t ever go onto my account and I wasn’t aware of any changes that were going to be made anytime soon, so I went to the finances tab to see what was up.

 (Background: Adam and I are started to plan things out for when we move to Rexburg at the end of August. We have been looking for apartments that might work for us for a little over a month and just can’t find anything that’s in our price range and meets our needs. And then on top of that I am starting to really worry about how we are even going to be able to afford anything since we haven’t been able to save up too much and we more than likely won’t be able to find a job in Rexburg. Every time I think about moving back I just get teary eyed because there is just so much to worry about and to top it all of I really don’t care much for the state of Idaho. But just a few days ago we were blessed with some very generous people offering us advice as to where would be a good place for us to live, we have narrowed the search down to two possible apartments!)

As soon as I opened up the tab I had to blink and refresh the page to make sure I was staring at the right thing. I was given a scholarship!!!!!! It’s by far not a big one, but let me tell you all I could do for a solid 2 minutes was stare at the screen with this big ol’goofy grin and cry (and then I cried again the entire way to work)!

I want to testify that there is a God and he loves us so so so much! Like I said, everything that has been thrown my way really hasn’t been that big of a deal, I have just chosen to make it a big deal. If I had just given myself time and had faith in myself, my husband and God then of course everything was going to be just fine, because as my husband says—everything always works out for us. But He decided to SHOW me it will be alright. He has heard my prayers and he knows all of my sorrows. He has given me hope and joy and something to hold onto and has let me know that he is going to take care of me every step of the way. My scholarship isn’t that much but it was just what I needed to allow me to have a good day, to see his goodness, to feel his love, to see good days ahead of me and to smile.

Many people say that there is no God but after the tender mercies he has shown me today I know without a shadow of a doubt that He isn’t just real and He isn’t just there, He is a part of my life and he is the very reason that I endure. If it were not for him I would probably still be in bed and my day would have been terrible. He is real, oh so very very real and I love him with all my heart.

I hope and pray that you see his love today and that you too can feel that he is there for you.

"Where you go I will go, And where you stay I will stay." {Ruth 1:16}

     I knew from the moment I turned around and saw him on one knee that I was going to love being married to my best friend, and every day since then I have known that more and more.

[I knew from the moment I first danced with you I wanted to get to know you better....and I want to continue to get to know you and make memories with you.]

     Little background about myself. I have really bad depression, I have very little self-worth, I have really bad anxiety (I have let things go so long that it is starting to affect my physically- when I start getting anxious I get this sharp pain in my chest and back, that only gets worse with the anxiety), I have this voice in my head that tells me I don’t deserve any of the good in my life (including my husband) and I am emotionally driven- which means after I have held things in as long as I can (because I am scared of my burdens being someone else’s burdens) I cry hysterically and there is next to no reasoning with me until I have just cried it all out. I am not proud of any of this.


{This post isn’t about me, it isn’t to gain pity or to let people know all my problems. It is to brag about my husband and let the world know just how lucky I am to have Adam in my life.}

[No one makes me this happy, makes me laugh this much, makes me feel this beautiful or this loved as you do.]

     The other night I came home from work— the day had started off on a rather rough note—and I was just bogged down with all my worries and stress. I could feel my chest starting to hurt and I could feel the anxiety building, but I just didn’t feel that I had time to deal with any of it (wrong answer…. I know). I rushed around the house trying to take care of things (and he followed and listened and did every crazy thing I asked him to do). Then when we were in the bathroom getting ready for bed, Adam started up some small talk. He was asking just everyday questions, but I could feel myself getting heated up-really no reason at all. And then he asked one simple little question and I literally felt myself snap. I started saying something that I knew was not going to end kindly (regrettably this is true…. I told you Im not proud of any of this) so I stopped myself mid-sentence, told him I couldn’t talk about this right now and went and climbed in bed. I laid there and cried for who knows how long, while Adam sat by my side occasionally rubbing my back and telling me he loved me.


     At some point I thought, “I am keeping Adam up, he needs to go to sleep.” So I got up and left the room without a word. I went to the study and curled up on the couch and at this point I was HYSTARICAL! I was sobbing and talking to myself about how I just couldn’t do any of this any longer. Adam, like a wonderful husband came and sat behind me, wrapped his arms around me and held me tight. I could hear him quietly saying a prayer. And then as I would say negative things to myself or that I didn’t deserve him, he would counteract every comment and tell me how much he needs me and loves me. He was so patient with me and he never left my side.

["As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love. John 15:9]

     Eventually he calmed me down enough that I was ready to head to bed; but because I had just been crying so much I was shaky, he held me and slowly assisted to bed. He got me a glass of water he tucked me into bed, and then laid down beside me. But his goodness didn’t stop there. He then went the extra mile by talking to me quietly, telling me all the reasons he loves and appreciates me while gently brushing my hair (which is one of my favorite things, to have my hair brushed).


The next morning he helped me get ready for work. After I had gotten to work I found a little note written on a notecard in my bag.

“My Dearest Kayla,
Thy love, to me: what is it? Hath it wings? Yea, for of a truth it doth carry me evermore to the bliss of the heavens.

Thy love is not a butterfly, to be mispurposefully trampled underfoot by an ignorant act. Nay, but rather it hath been likened to an angel, of whom is brought glad tidings of joy, hope, and that bears the fruit of a kiss.

And so, thus it is that mine heart is given unto thee, o’thee fair Kayla. I pray thee to come unto me this evening that I might tell you I love thee.

Love,
Adam”

[This picture he tried to dip me but almost dropped me. He thought it was hilarious!!! But in truth I love how safe I feel around him. I know he would never hurt me or allow me to get hurt.]

     He came to my work as soon as he had gotten off of work and played Barbie’s with the two girls I nanny and I. When we got home he did the dishes and he did whatever I asked. Since that night he calls and texts me all the time, he leaves cute notes (well he has always done that, but the notes have gotten more and more romantic and sentimental).


     I realized something after all of this—that God really does know me. He knows I have problems and that I cannot overcome on my own. He know I need a man who will love me and support me, will be patient, understanding and will bring out the very best in me. And at the risk of sounding like a sappy girl in love I have to say that my Father in Heaven gave me all of that and so so much more. Adam is and will forever be my best friend. He sees me for the good and not the bad, especially in my lowest of moments.

[I love the way he is silly with me..... GOLLY isn't he just so so cute!!!!]

     My heart is overflowing with gratitude for this tender mercy from Heaven. I want Adam to know that I am so very grateful to have him in my life and for all of the acts of service he gives in my behalf. I am grateful for his optimism and him smile and humor. I am grateful for his willingness to work long hard hours and provide for me. I am grateful for his childlike ways of seeing all the good in the world and his excitement over the little things (a small box of Legos can bring a larger smile to his face than a plate of homemade cookies…. Although he really does love peanut butter chocolate chip cookies). I am grateful for the times I walk into a room and see him on his knees praying, or when he is pouring over his Preach My Gospel Manuel and his scriptures marking and cross-referencing. I am so grateful for the times when I walk in the room and he stops what he is doing and smiles at me and tells me how beautiful he thinks I am.


     I heard once that all the best blessings in life are the result of hard hard work. Adam—you are the greatest blessing in my life. I waited (not so) patiently for you and now that I have you in my life I will continue to work each and every day to show you just how much I love you. Thank you for being my greatest happiness.

Love,

Kayla

[Always and Forever 2.2.14]

"Miracles are a retelling in small letters of the very same story which is written across the whole world in letters too large for some of us to see." -- C.S. Lewis

Here is a little letter to my husband, because I believe every wife should do this from time to time:

My dearest, sweetest, most handsome, sexy, amazing, glorious, heaven sent, dang good looking husband;

Be not alarmed, my dear noble man, on receiving this letter. I write without any intention of setting off any distresses; I write with the most humbling of intentions. There has been a dwelling passion building within me since last February, for the happiness of our joining cannot be too soon forgotten (if ever that is). And the efforts in which you have put forth in my behalf have quite moved me aside and I cannot let these emotions stay to myself any longer. You must, therefore, pardon the freedom with which I demand your attention.

Twas nearly nine and nearly three quartereth of a year since we first met, but I must confess I didn’t justly take notice of your strikingly fetching smile until our re-acquaintance two years past. It was when you bid me to dance and I placed on hand into your brawny hand and placed my other on your well-developed shoulder, I regarded the generous sparkle in your eye as you engaged in much talk. I was captivated by your wisdom of Star-wars and other matters in which your minded was well affianced in. From that time hence I awaited our dances together; in the following years I anticipated our passing’s in the hall of our institute and our subtle interactions through hasty glances talk and the occasional brief touch.

After you were relocated to states distant from my own, my heart yearned for yours and I ached to gaze upon your eyes just once more. I, however, did prominently delight in forthcoming exchanges. As on great human once inscribed; Distance makes the heart grow fonder; and that my dear it surely did. As you went off to your university to study the teachings of man and God, and then moved into the frontlines of our God’s army waving our Father’s title of liberty high triumphantly, my heart followed you all the way and I continued to yearn for you.

This, my love, is a faithful narrative of nearly every (not quiet, but just go along with me on this) event in which we have been concerned together. My darling dear, if there is any lesson I might have learned from our distance and our time apart, it is that I prominently value our time together. You may possibly wonder why all this was not said in confrontation; for the truth of everything here related and that which is too strong in my heart to convey in this letter is the unavoidable truth—that I will forever and always be in love with and indebted to you for your kindness . I shall endeavor to find some opportunity of more sufficiently expressing my love and appreciativeness towards your service and every abounding love in my behalf.

My heart could forever fly on wings of blazing passion and esteeming love; notwithstanding, my tongue cannot sufficiently sustain this adoration for you and I have run out of words to say. I will only further add my assurance of perpetual and eternal love and kindheartedness towards the one man I may ever love.

Faithfully Yours.

Je' t'aime beaucoup.

"Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible" -- Francis of Assisi

As of late I have found myself in a bit of a rut. I live a wonderful life in a beautiful home and I have a great job which I love and adore. But I feel as though I am just not doing enough or that I am not doing all that which I should do. My husband the other night while I was brushing his teeth and he was cleaning his ears suggest a list of things I could do to help me fulfill this unfulfillment that I have recently discovered in myself. Among this list was that I should start a blog. I have tried blogging in the past and it carried on for a month or so but then never stretched on further than that. But as I mulled things over to myself that night I felt that maybe I have a story that needs to be told and that maybe the satisfaction that I seek could be found through simply writing. I do not promise to be good or to write anything of great significance; however, I hope you (whoever you may be) will be patience with me through this endeavor.

First a little introduction; I am a student of Brigham Young University-Idaho and a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints-- I love my eldest brother and Savior Jesus Christ and I have a strong testimony of this gospel. Someday when I grow up I want to be a Child Life Therapist in a children's hospital, working in the playroom and organizing the big events for the children. I have the most wonderful family and I love them so much. God has blessed me with many many talents but my favorite is my abilities to cook and bake. I love food. Food of all kinds and all sorts. I LOVE food!!!! And if you ever ask what makes my cooking so good I promise the answer will always and forever be-- butter. I love butter!!!! It is a gift from God and it simply makes everything (and I truly do mean everything) better. I was formerly a young woman who found herself to have little worth or value, however, that is not the case anymore. I am married to the most wonderful man, Adam, and if you ask me we have the cutest love story out there! Today where I stand I see a lot of potential in my life, I see God’s mighty hand guiding and directing me and blessing me wherever I go, and I see happiness—something that I have desired all my life.

My favorite quote…. goes something life, “Never wait for the storm to pass, learn to dance in the rain.”

A little known fact about me… I have a great fear of eating corn on the cob…. Not questions please.

What makes me cry…Well that’s a loaded question—just about everything makes me cry! Chick flicks…. Well lots of movies do, books, when I talk with my husband about Spiritual stuff or our future, sometimes I just wake up emotional and everything makes me cry.

Something I do every day…Check all my social media accounts and emails. As much as I hate to admit it I actually am very much addicted to Facebook—I just have to know what everyone is doing and see every picture that is posted!

A life highlight for me… Marrying my best friend. And I don’t just say that to be a sappy young bride, but because I really do love that I get to spend my life hand in hand with my very best friend. He makes things so much easier.

My friends would describe me as… Well I actually don’t know how to answer this one. Some may say shy and sweet but others might say CRRRRAZY… in a good way.

My secret indulgence is… I love love love products. Hair products, skin products, make up, I love good smelling fabric softeners; I love things that smell super yummy—Scentsy’s are my LOVE! And I really have this ginormous sweet tooth!

The thing that surprises most people about me… That even though I have major stage fright I love to teach Zumba and dance classes! (I am literally weeks away from becoming a ReFit instructor!!!! YAY!) I have this secret love for the bagpipes and it is my goal to play one one day.

Something that inspires me... Church, my husband, movies where people triumph their limitations (Soul Surfer—whoo-eee gets me every time), dreaming with people who dream bigger than I do, my mother and My Savior.

Reason behind the name of the blog... Like I have mentioned I love to cook an bake, but what makes it so fun for me is using all my spices and herbs. I LOVE the smell and taste of spices and herbs and when you mix them together (nutmeg- the best spice ever invented!). It is my dream to have a giant spice cabinet someday.